Post-Reading task: What happened after Jonas left the community (told from Fiona's perspective)

The happenings after Jonas' escape were extremely horrible. Directly, after Jonas' missing was noticed, we heard a speech from the Speakers that we had to assemble altogether in the auditorium. There the old Receiver told us that something would happen to us. Something which would be very hard to bear for us. He said that we would receive memories from the history about things that we wouldn't understand. Nobody knew what he meant by this, but he went on with his explanations. He explained us what we had to do when the memories were there. We should focus on one of the first memories that we got, in the best case one that made us feel good, and then concentrate on it so that we didn't get interrupted by other ones. When we were “ready” with that memory we should went on with the next ones that came in our minds. The Receiver told us, that it would take a long time to go trough all this memories, primary they would appear without any breaks in between. But after a while there wouldn't appear directly a new one when the other memory was finished. He said the beginning was the hardest part of it, however, even after weeks this memories could hit us unexpectedly. Still, sometimes I get a new memory. That was all of our preparation we got before the memories reached us.

Even though I didn't know what exactly I had expected, it was completely different. There were no memories, there were different feelings combined with pictures which dashed through my head. All this picture didn't mean anything to me but every single feeling I got was stronger than the ones I felt ever before. It was so confusing and I couldn't control anything. I tried to watch what the other people did, but all I could see were these pictures. It was like they were real. Then suddenly I saw a picture of myself. With all my consciousness I tried to keep this picture before my eyes. I felt like I was the person riding on a bike, talking to myself. But my voice sounded different, it sounded like the one from a boy. Like the one from Jonas. I remembered this memory. I already owned it. With the little difference that in mine I saw Jonas riding on his bike. But something else was different. In between my hair changed. Today, I know I started to see the colour red. To my own surprise this memory wasn't filled up with strong feelings, it was just like I was accustomed. Later on, after I got a lot other memories, I realized it was because it was a memory from Jonas when he still was a normal community member. But after this memory the pictures and the really strong feelings started dashing through my mind again. It was like my head would burst. I didn't want this any longer. All this emotions made me so exhausted. I forced myself to open my eyes and stand up. The mix of feelings still let me stumble, but I could watch what happened around me. Nearly nobody was still on his seat. Some were curling on the ground, other ones were erring through the corridors with an empty, crazy or hopeless look and some ran via the open doors outside. I followed them and saw how some of them drowned themselves in the river. That frightened me. Were they so desperate because they couldn't deal with this situation or because they had receive some really bad memories? Until now, I didn't know the reason for their mass suicides. When I saw them I knew I had to expose me with the memories. I looked for a silent and secluded place in the wood and sit down. For the next three days I didn't move. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the first memory I got. This wasn't a good one, I saw how a human killed another one. I felt really sad, because apparently I knew this person, and simultaneously so scared that the murderer wouldn't discover my stash. But I withstand this feelings and after this memory I caught a good one where I had a little baby in my arm and felt so much love for it.

After this three days I felt exhausted but also relieved. Although I didn't know exactly every designation for the things I became acquainted with, I got a really good overview about how life was before Sameness. Although there happened really bad things in the past, it is not fair what our community leaders did to us. They took the ability to feel from us. That haven't been real feelings I felt in my first thirteen years of age. And of course they killed people without being punished for that. I am happy that I escaped from the community like Jonas did but I often think about how they might life today. There must have been changes in their way of life after these revelations. But I wasn't patient enough for them to come. When these three days were over I directly left the community with enough food and clothes and in the end reached your town. After a while I asked myself why I didn't talked to the old Receiver, but I have to admit that this thought didn't came into my mind. And to turn back was no option for me. I am happy here but I think any time I will return to my community to look how they are and how they life. Maybe the community doesn't exist any more. Maybe other people fled as well. And maybe I can find out what happened to Jonas...